with plenty on the horizon, my attention is turned to the kind of person i’d potentially like to become. i’m positioned to explore all of the realms i identify with and am fascinated by: the worlds of clowning, of anthropology, of writing, of counselling, of printed matter, of music, of interactive media, etc, etc. how does passion, in all its intangibility and potency, manifest?
i am interested in the relationship between the material and the immaterial. for example, the cultural and semantic coding that exists in an Instagram photo of an incredible Vancouver view, or someone’s workspace at a trendy café. there are links between what we represent in photos and the symbolic realm of identity and self-representation. often the material things exist as manifestations of the immaterial, for example, the pumpkin spice latté in all its infamous eminence, is a symbol of fall, of coziness, and it draws direct links to things like chunky-knit sweaters and books and warmth in the midst of cold. i won’t get into the more mocking or parodic symbols. but i feel like i’m in the process of working backwards, in that i am unsure of my immaterial environment so i look for physical objects that will lead into desirable immaterial realms – i bought a net grocery bag, like Monica has in the earliest seasons of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, because it’s reminiscent of farmers’ markets, of the delightful, humble craft of cooking for oneself, of making a home, of having the wherewithal to grab groceries between work and home. i am looking for something in having this bag. i am looking to evoke in myself that sense of home, or to acquire some of the charm of a quirky french woman.
and so, what is the material anchor to my immaterial hunger, thirst, drive, urge to clown, or to write, or to study? for my classes, it is my books, my notes, my laptop when i am writing essays. for writing, it is also my laptop. for clowning, what is it, besides the new tattoo on the back of my arm? perhaps the floor of the rehearsal space, or my own body. i want habits and items that reinforce this immaterial space of writing turns, habits and items that tether me to the unseen world of creating something.